bago
apparently, my blog layout is new. it took me months to finally end with this one. there were loads of nice layouts, but they were too complicated. this one is so complicated too, but it paid off.
it's final exam this week. gosh! di ako nagaaral, pag nag aaral naman ako, walang pumapasok sa isipan ko. i dont know. kainis.
just when you stopped thinking about the past that made you of who you are now, you will realized you are still somehow attatch to it. com'on, di naman ganun kadali mawala yun diba?! i know am moving on and actually having a "too-good-time" with "myself", but frankly, i hate to think about it. teka, ang gulo. ok, ok, ok. what i mean is, i wasn't thinking of it, di maiwasan kung may bagay na dumating sayo maiisip mo agad yung past mo. i mean, binabase mo lahat ng present mo sa past mo. but good thing though is, am always looking at the brighter side of it.
the 1st sem is almost over and am going to get over with my crushes that somehow "broke" my heart *emote!* and am going to get over being too "happy go lucky bitch" *sigh*
will focus on what actually drives me here in oz - to study!
sa totoo lang, i wasn't actually like this. i mean, since May, i never cared about anything. i know whats actually happening to me but i didnt care. i got low grades and i didnt care. i get bigger everyday and i didnt care. my BP was 130/90 and i didnt care. i got loads of friends but never cared. whew! i was a jerk?!?!?!?!? i know it sounds like "lee, is that you?!" - yeah, yeah. my "past" changed me for what i was. gladly, someone made me cry again. i mean, she didnt made me cry, but i cried coz of what has been happening to us. nakita ko ulit kung ano ako dati, you know, someone who cares, someone who treasure something or someone. i know kung ano ako. i know what am suppose to be.
naging "walang pakealam" ako coz i had been missing someone in my life. kaya pala everytime i go to school, although am doing what am supposed to do, pakiramdam ko kulang parin. kaya pala ako walang pakealam kasi i didnt feel Him with me. when i cried again, there i realized, am missing God in my life.
i thought i'll be fine being too happy for what i have and for what i get everyday, i thought am going to be fine waking up every morning and facing the new day as if it's just another day. i thought ill be ok if i have loads of friends. but i was absolutely wrong - di ko naman kailangan ng ibang tao or ibang bagay eh, i just need Him.
*sigh*
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