origin
i havent been in Oz for almost 7 years, now that am here. i dont know what to expect. my family and friends made me think something that was never an issue to me since i was born. now that i live in Oz now, i am with my sisters and brother, my siblings from my BIOLOGICAL MOM.
when i knew that i was adopted, i was kinda sad about it coz i didnt have the chance to know my real mom better. she died before i knew it. sadness fills my heart then. i was wishing to feel her existence. i wanted to know how it feels to have a real mom beside you. that was all i felt when she died and i found out that am her daughter.
now that am back here in Oz where i originally came from. this is where i was born, this is where i was known, this is where i was loved, this is where i was kept from my "crazy lola". where ever i go here in Oz, someone would stare at me or even call my name, most of them i dont know. when i arrived here in Oz, when i was about to ride the tricicle, the driver asked me "ikaw ba si clay-clay?!" and course i nodded, and then he told the other drivers "hoy, ito si clay-clay oh, yung panganay na babaeng anak ni Zizit na galing manila, yung asawa ni Barok". di lang alam nung driver na yun na sobrang naloka ako sa sinabi niya. i didnt know na pati tricicle driver alam tungkol sa akin. from then on, i was wondering kung sino pa ba ang nakakaalam about me?! gosh, kararating ko lang, issue na!?? pero binalewala ko un. di naman talaga issue sa akin yun ganun. mejo naloka lang ako kasi biruin mo, he knows something personal about me?! and what bothers me is, dito sa Oz, ang alam nila is am a VILLANUEVA and my mom is Zizit. concern lang ako sa parents ko, si Mami Angie and Papa Ray. sila yung kilala kong parents and sila yung pinagmamalaki at gusto kong ipakilala at iharap sa mundo ko. hindi yung biological ko na mom and yung walang kwenta kong biological dad na kahit man lang ni isang tao dito sa ozamiz di alam kung sino talaga ang biological dad ko. i dont care of who they are. sila mami Angie and papa Ray lang talaga ang kinikilala ko.
haaaaay, lagi nga akong nakakarinig ng mga stories from my past eh. my tita told me na dati daw tinatagotago nila ako sa lola kong baliw na sobrang paborito daw ako. as in kahit saan na daw ako dalhin para lang daw di ako makuha ng lola kong baliw. *grabeeeh!* i cant imagine that. my tita and lola told me din na madami daw my gusto sa akin. di daw ako gusto ibigay ng real mom ko, pero di na talaga nakayanan. ipina-adopt na niya ako kay Mami Angie. haaaay, nakakaaliw ang story ko.
i know where i originally came from. am not gonna deny it, ever! but i just wished di nila lagyan ng malisya yung napanggalingan ko, coz am proud of where i came from and am proud of what i am now.
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