MY PRERO LAYOUT my prerogative: July 2006

www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws   www.Bigoo.ws



            

the gurl in all trades



blog layouts



untitled

Lee© ** i write to express, not to impress! ** ©Lee




my prerogative

people can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth. but the question is.. Can you handle mine?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Q and A of life..

BEST
1. Male friend(s): as of now, Jak.
2. Female friend: Chelo

LAST
1. Person you saw: Lola
2. Talked to on the phone: Jefferson
3. Hugged: Alexis
4. Messaged over friendster: LA

TODAY
1. wearing & brand: res tee. particles.
2. better than yesterday? yeah.

TOMORROW
1. Is: sunday
2. Got any plans: finish schooling.

FAVORITE
1. Number: 5
2. Color: red and black
3. Season: rainy

CURRENT/LY
1. Missing someone: yeah
2. Mood: sleepy
3. Wanting: to talk to someone over the fone about "something"

Q: First thing you did this morning?:
A: looked at my phone

Q: Last thing you ate:
A: omelette potatoes with shredded cheddar cheese.

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?:
A: yeah, the local TV station. i auditioned as a field reporter, now i passed and it's bothering me. hope i'll make it.

Q: What's annoying you right now?:
A: nothing actually

Q: What's the last movie you saw?:
A: superman returns

Q: Do you believe in long distance
relationships?:
A: nope

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right
now:
A: yep...

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: LSU

Q: Who is the last person you called?:
A: no one.

Q: Been cheated on?:
A: uh, it's complicated.

Q: Do you look like your mom or dad?:
A: more of biological dad.

Q: Do you have any siblings?:
A: yep

Q: Do you smile often?:
A: not really

Q: Do you think that a person is thinking of you
too?
A: no

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty,
creativity):
A: love

Q: Do you wish upon stars?A: yes

Q: Are you a friendly person?:
A: yes

Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?:
A: my bed

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?:
A: red

Q: What were you doing at 4 last night?:
A: 4am?! sleeping.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?:
A: april 14th?!

Q: Do you have more guy friends or girl friends?
A: girl

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: the other night.

Q: Do you get angry easily?
A: nope

Q: What was your last thought before you went
to sleep last night?
A: darwin *ewwww*

Q: What are you about to do?
A: go on with my article.

Q: What song are you listening to right now?A: im not missing you by stacie orrico

Q: Would you rather be single or in a
relationship?A: single.

Q: Do you ever check your phone waiting for
someone to call?
A: no.

Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10.A: 8 (been blessed enough)

Lee rocks!! @ 2:33 AM

 

i've noticed..

gawd!! clef shin is sooooo IN?!? (nauuso din pala ang clef chin?) uh, yeah! i guess. hahahaha! that's what i've noticed. the biggest stars today has a clef chin! to name a few...

BrandonRouth kevin
Brandon Routh and Kevin Spacey

kate john
Kate Bosworth and Kevin Travolta


(so it's "in"??) yeah! (and so are you?!) yeah! *wide smile*

Lee rocks!! @ 1:50 AM

 

my "national anthem"



love this song! glad you're back Stacie Orrico!


IM NOT MISSING YOU by Stacie Orrico


Oh, Oh
I’m not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don’t know what I was missing or why I ain’t listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiousity
Now that it’s over
What else could it be _____

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn’t I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

CHORUS
(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I’m usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time it’s different
I don’t even feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you

It’s a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn’t I keep it?
Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

Chorus x 2

No I can’t be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can’t keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when it’s right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

(But) I’m not missing you
I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I’m not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I’m usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you


I’m not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (it's the best day of my life)
I know I’m usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I’m not missing
I’m not missing you I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you
I'm so over you
It ain't even a problem




i also love this one. *sigh*

ALERT THE ARMORY by Urbandub

This struggle could be over now this time,

time has changed us our silence is deafening.

Nothing can make this better

Our answers seldom come

There is death in words we say.

Sound the alarm

What we have built is gone

Our battle has just begun

Mayday! Mayday!

Bring the tears from out of your eyes

Just leave it up to me

Hearts of stone to bring out the cold

It cuts the warmth

It could’ve been easier

Now our bitter words revealed.

Nothing can make this better

Our answers seldom come

There is death in words we say

I’m so sick of you and love.

Lee rocks!! @ 1:27 AM

 

Monday, July 24, 2006

music

yeah! everybody love music!

pop, mellow, jazz, acoustic, pop rock, screamo, punk rock, rock metal, emo, emocore, hardcore, metal core, metal, rap metal, psychidelic, indie, alternative, grunge, heavy metal, post hardcore, deathmetal, blackmetal, reggae, pop punk, grunge metal, goth, instrumental, experimental, religious praises, hiphop, rap, urban, club mixes, and so many to mention!! whatever that genre may be!!

i was once a pop addict! specifically to Nsync, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Solid Harmonie, Brintey Spears, Westlife and etc. they were popular because of their dance moves, their cool voices/harmonies and their looks! i remember collecting tons of picture, articles and i would even record their videos, performances on my video camera, i would even try to imitate their dance moves and styles! *laughs*

basically, groups and bands would eventually disband and separate and do their own thang! that's what happend to Westlife, Bryan McFadden decided to go solo, and so is Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter of Nsync and Backstreet Boys. Backstreet Boys managed to have their Greatest Hits album released last 2004 and so is Britney Spears and Westlife.

after the popularity of those groups, the urban and acoustic genre were on the way to the top charts. there was Missy Elliot, P.Diddy, Eminem, Justin Timberlake with NERD, Alicia Keys, J.Lo, Alliah, Stephen Speaks and many to mention. bein pimp is soooo in that time. teens would wear bling-blings and would even have thier belly and tongue peirced and would even starve theirselves just to earn money for those expensive blingage. would even wear a pair of "sports" attire to match with thier bling-blings. *laughs*

now..

here comes the bands that "play" different instruments *lol*, a band that is packed with the vocalist, the bassist, the lead guitarist, the keyboardist and the drummer. to name a few, those are Kamikazee, Slapshock, Urbandub, Agape, Typecast, Saydie, Greyhaunds, The Late Isabel, Pentovia, All American Rejects, Six Feet Under, The Signs of Dying, Dashboard Confessional and etc. they come with emo, punk rock, pop rock, screamo, heavy metal, rap metal, post hardcore, alternative, indie and etc. today, there are loads of posers. some are maybe influenced by the fashion, some are Salin, and some dont even know why they are in to it. *sheeesh*

all of us have this tendency to label someone the way s/he dress up. if someone wears this bling-blings, then s/he is in to hip-hop or urban. if someone wears black and chuck taylor with ripped pants then s/he is a "rocker". and if someone wears simply plain, then maybe s/he in to acoustic, pop or whatever!

well, stop that! there is nothing wrong with what you like listening to. so what's wrong in listening to rock music? what's wrong with wearing black? that doesnt make someone rebellious and bad. so what's with wearing large silver toned necklace and rings?! what's with wearing large diamond stud?! what's with listening to rap?! that doesnt make someone different from you.

as we all know, music is the universal language. we show emotions through music, we make music as our teacher and it is actually the bond that makes us one. music may come in different genres, different reasons, different type of people, but we all share for one same thing ----- the PASSION!!

Lee rocks!! @ 8:22 PM

 

Saturday, July 15, 2006

captivated


jak5
Originally uploaded by maclee25.
this is Jak, a very good friend of mine.

this photo was taken by Andrea, Jak's ex girlfriend. this was Jak's idea. saw this on his friendster profile and i got captivated with the concept of what ever Jak is trying to point out here. i asked Jak's concent to blog this pic or to upload it as my friendster wallpaper or in my profile, unfortunately, he wont let me.

what Jak doesnt know is, i do have a stubborn ass! *lol*

sorry Jak-oh! cant help it!

\m/

Lee rocks!! @ 2:45 AM

 

Friday, July 14, 2006

freaky!!

sweet 17 - was the age i know i enjoyed living! *laughs* i had my first bf at this age. oh well, to many to mention. hmmm, what's with age 17?! well, here it goes. am in my new school, right?! am in my first year in my new course and most of my classmates are at the age 16 and 17. i didnt tell anyone about my age, one of my classmate would even call me "ate", so i figured that my age appears on my image. but then, after a month here in my new school, my classmates would star talking about "sexuality today", that isn't new to me anymore. when they talk about it, i would just shrug or say "whatever!". but then one time, they asked me about my sex life, i just said that my last was "blah-blah-blah!" and kept discreet about the rest. they asked when was my first, i told them "when i was 18." they were like "so you just turned 18?" and then i said, "no, i turned 18 three years ago." and they all said "ngeeek!! i thought you're just 17!!!!! di halata ha!!!" - errrr, need i hear more?! *lol* i was soooooo flattered! *blush*

oh brother! - another freaky thing here. y'all know about RUBEN (the lead guitarist and vocalist) of the local band Cueshe?! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! base on the facts that i have gathered, he could POSSIBLY be my half brother!!!!!!! *what the hell?!* no bull man!!!! yeah, even i, i couldn't believe it!! ok, here are the facts:

*Ruben was born and originally lived in Annex, Ozamiz City.
**my biological dad lived in Annex, Ozamiz City.
*Ruben's surname is Caballero.
**my biological dad's name is Manuel Caballero.
*the original vocalist of the band was Dianne Francisco, also from Ozamiz City. Ruben and Dianne are some what relatives.
**when i told Mac about "myself", i remember him telling me that Caballeros are their close relatives, and Mac is sooooooo Francisco!!



*Ruben wrote the song SORRY for the band and apparently in the video, it explains his experiences and feelings for his dad. seen in the video that he was young enough to understand and feel the situation then, and it was when he and his mom left his dad. (the reason i think is because of my biological mom?!?!??!??!?!?!?!)
**i am years younger than Ruben. and it explains the song sorry. errr, am i making a point here?

untitled


**Ruben may have a goatee but if you would look closely to his image, he has a clef-chin????? which..
*i do have too! and my tita told me that i probably got it from my biological dad's genes.
**Ruben's features are...
*similar like mine??????? which i know i got it also mostly from my dad's genes. *far out!*

need i say more?! well, don't worry, am not all fussed about this. am not assuming, it's just that i got interested with all the facts that i gathered from different sources. let's say it's a 30-70 case that he could be my half brother. those are just few facts, and some are not confirmed, like the video sorry, i havent actually asked Ruben myself or i havent seen any interview or read an article that explains of what came to his mind when he wrote that song. and about the clef-chin thing, i cant clearly see it. i may have different pics of Ruben along with the band and none of it is visible enough to prove that he has a clef-chin. and is Ruben's dad name is MANUEL?! - that i dont know.

Mr. Ruben, if you are reading this, i didnt mean anything to ruin your reputation or somethin'. it's true that i do like your band, i actually went to your concert here in Ozamiz and my attention was with Jay but he was kinda snob and honestly i was disappointed and so my attention was with you and i was frustrated for not being able to get the guitar peak you threw although i was actually infront of you. deym! anyway, keep rockin and as what i've said, i didnt blog this "against" you.

Lee rocks!! @ 11:30 PM

 

Sunday, July 09, 2006

take time

i was exited when our Rel. Ed instructor announced our recollection schedule, it made me recall of when was the last time i have reflected about myself and God. honestly, i dont exactly remember my last retreat/recollection, but what came in to my mind was the feeling i felt after i attended my last recollection, then i said to myself: "i need that!"

our school has it's own "recollection house", where it is located at the back of the campus, far from the buldings and the soccer field. it is an open hut, it is like a large cottage. i never knew that "house" is a school's property because it is really far from the school buildings and from anything else, the reason behind it is that to stay away or to be detached from the usual noise. base on my eveluation, that house could be a nice place to stay and meditate, it is as solemn and you'll feel free and it could be your 'sanctuary'.

when we arrived at the recollection house, we danced and sang a song as an ice-breaker. after that, we meditate. as i've said, the place is perfect for meditaion. as the meditation goes on, i felt my tears were falling and i kept on sniffing, it was actually embarrasing because it was so quiet then and i was the only one making that noise. gladly, after 5mins. or so, i heard someone sniffed too. *laughs* ok, so the meditation went like this: "close your eyes. relax. breath in. breath out. free you mind from anything. listen to the birds that are singing. listen to the sound of the water pump. listen to the motorbike that passed by. listen to the wind. [those were the things that we could hear]. listen to you heart. what does it says? listen closely. imagine that you are now facing in the mirror. you see yourself. what kind of person do you see? what does that person is trying to tell you? what do you want to tell to that person you see in the mirror? what do you want that person to feel like? then, the image is slowly fading, Jesus' face is what you see now. and that image you saw earlier was Jesus' image after all. now look deeply into Jesus' eyes, what does He trying to tell you? slowly, the image is gone. you felt someone's hand on your right shoulder and when you turn your head to look at it, it's Jesus saying "come, walk with me". you walked with Jesus in a place where no one is there. a place that only you and Jesus know. while you are walking with Him, you tell all your troubles and pains, you tell Him your secrets. you asked Him questions that you want to be answered. you keep on taking to him. tell him everything, he is listeting. after you said what you have to say, Jesus left, slowly releasing your hand, vanishing with the wind, but He left you a message: "______, dont be afraid, I am here. ALWAYS. I love you!" ----------- then music was playing in the background for 3-4mins, then we are asked to open our eyes! *sheeeeesh!* now, tell me, who would not cry?!!???!?!?!?!?!

when i opened my eyes, i saw some of my classmates where wipping their tears off. i was glad to see them cry, not because i cried too, it's because they were also touched and have actually felt the intenseness of the meditation. after the meditation, we are asked to share what part of it that touched or stucked us and how did it feels. majority of the evaluation was they were touched of the part where Jesus' hand was on their right shoulder and have asked them to walk with Him, and alot said they were happy. when it was my turn, i felt like telling the facilitator that every part of it touched me, but then we just have to tell "which" part, so it have to be ONE part only. so i said, the one that touched me most was when "the image i saw was Jesus' image after all", and yes, what we are doing to ourselves are the things that we have been doing to Him also. i remember the time that i was sooooooooooooo stubborn, i realize that it was Jesus' image or body that i had been torturing. *sigh*

after meditation, we are asked to draw a "map" or a "road" of our life.
road map
apparently, mine sucks!! hmmm, do i have to explain why?! crooked roads drive me to no where and straight roads lead me to God. there aint no road where there is "death of my biological mom" because it was when i knew that she was my mom, i cut my ties from my foster parents and then there i decided to have my pride and insecurity drive, which i said, it leads me to no where. and when i was asked to share it, which was kinda awkward for me to do because i barely know my classmates and to avoid myself from questions and intrigues, but, the facilitator asked me to, and so i did! while sharing it, of course, i was crying, was having a hard time sharing it coz i felt like i wanted to stop and just cry! after sharing though, they were amazed or propably stunned of what they heard. they never knew, and they couldnt believe!! - that a girl who has this kind of facade was hiding something deep some where in herself.

after hearing my classmates "road trips", i am really overwhelmed of what i am now. i feel contentment in my life. most of my classmates nag about their parents, they would bitch about their brothers or sisters with some reasons. knowing or hearing someone else's life makes you look back and realized what you have been missing, and what i miss doing is, extending my gratitude to my foster parents and to those who stand behind my vision. you know who you are guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH for staying stranded in my life. *sniffs*

after it, another facilitator walked in. she chose five students to share their summarization of the whole sharing period. 3 students were called and after them, i was the next one. i shared 4 "summarization".
first: MONEY IS NOT ENOUGH - some of my classmates belong in lower class and they are a working schoolars. i was really touched on how they share their experiences. they have been through alot and most specifically its about financial problems. oh, should i say it's not a problem to them because what is important for them is their family. and most of them are happy with their family. they may be having problems about money but thier family ties are still stuck, and for me, it could turn most of us envious.
second: FAMILY - family is really important, do i have to explain it?! damn NO!! no matter what, it's your family that would always be there for you.
third: GOD - never underestimate Him. never question Him.
fourth: PURPOSE - we all have a purpose and that's for you to explore.

after the "summarization", the fcilitator mentioned my name - again! >.< "alright, i am glad to know that most of you have realized and have touched lives through your experiences. ok, i would like to stress out what Lee have said. i was struck with what she said about our family. it's true that no matter what we have been through and what we are going through is that our family will always be there. never turn away from your family! like what Mother Theresa said, in order to have peace on earth = Go Home and Love your Family." - wow!!!!! *sniffs*

...and there, we went home and hopefully, we, from all of our class could show love to our family to start peace

Lee rocks!! @ 7:51 PM

 

surveyyy..

SURVEY!:)

1. Of your name?
Lily: got it from my gandma's name.
Claire: twas my mom's favorite name.

2. Of your parents?
errrr, havent actually asked how they met?!?!

3. Of your last bday?
uhhh, twas my 1st bday with out my bestfriend. huhuhuhu.

4. Of your first love?
sorry, don remember! *run!!*

5. Of your room?
it's actually like my sanctuary. i can do whatever i wanna do there. it may come clean or messy, depends on me!! *tehee*

6. Of last Christmas?
i spent it with my relative in maMalaubang, Ozamiz. it's a blast! it's my 1st time to drink and get drunk with a bunch of relatives in one occasion.

7. Of last Valentines day?
got a bunch or red roses, 2 teddy bear, a mushy card.

8.Of your current clothes?
rasta lovin!

9. Of the 1st time u saw your crush?
uhhh, butterflies!!!

10. Of you and your best friend/s?
Che - missing her so much. spent my summer with her. twas just a jiffy but it's a blast! it's always been a blast with her.

11. Of the last place you went to?
in LSU, room HS 113 - HRM II class.

12. Of the last time you cried
errrrrr....

13. The last movie you watched?
i dont remember..

14. Of your greatest achievement so far?
am in LSU now. proud of it, babe!! hahahaha

Lee rocks!! @ 5:37 PM

 

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

glad to be back!

i have a lot of thing to rant about these past days. about darwin, about mac, about my new school [LSU], about my dream course and so..

i am so happy that my mom finally agreed to me that i could shift to BSHM from BSN. yep! i'll be taking up my dream course, atlast! i am currently enrolled in La Salle University, Ozamiz [LSU], taking up Bachelor of Science in Hospitality Management. i like the school, it's pretty much strict than Misamis University [MU], the last school i attended to. i like LSU coz it has it's own gym for the students, it has it's own radio station broadcasting in the whole city and we have a wash day! yey!!

i miss my Labz so much. wish i could talk to her over the phone. *sigh*

there aint nothin much to share, i am now trying to keep things about the "assholes" that i have mentioned earlier coz i dont wanna spiol my blog ranting about their shits!!

have to run to my next class.

*signing off*

Lee rocks!! @ 1:24 AM