the gurl in all trades

Lee© ** i write to express, not to impress! ** ©Lee

my prerogative

people can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth. but the question is.. Can you handle mine?

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Che, Me and Ate Jo

Che, Me and Ate Jo
Originally uploaded by maclee25.

been staying here at my Budz place since saturday morning..i went out with her to megamall and RP metro to shop for her x'mas needs..got home before dinner, and after dinner we went out to buy ourselves some Mudshake vodka ice coffee..

wow!! imagine that?! Ate Jo decided to come over before she'd left to Batangas..'corz we had fun!! laughing!! hahahaha... =) can't wait till the next time!!

[to mah sistahs: mahal ko kayo!! (with Sandara's popular hand wave; kekekekek)]

Lee rocks!! @ 6:26 AM

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Bringing out the Best

last night was the night that i cried my pain out..again!! sheeesh, i was crying like for 7pm to 11pm?! *far out*...my head ached ofcourse, i felt that my eyes are too heavy that i can't even open it big enough!!..talked to che and to Ate Jo then, telling me the things that i have to hear over and over - coz of stubborness!!..gawd!! why can't HE just let me live!!! - why can't i let myself live?? *arhg*

sensible lee: he's not worth it!! he's an asshole more than anyone else you know!! he's just a pain in the ass!! a life ruiner!! he's a nuisance!!

there times that i would think that why did God gave me the chance to be this deep??!! i wanted to be mad at Him..i am wishing that i could turn back the hands of time and change the choice i made!!! - and YES!! it's the choice that made me, the girl that i am right now!!..it's not Him, and it would never be His fault..NEVER!! the blame is on me and i think that is the price that i have to pay - for loving someone?!?? *whateverrrr*

oh well, i have learned my lessons and that's my blessings!!

Praise God!!

"be human enough" - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 4:14 AM

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Looking Back

before the clock strikes 12 in the midnight...i don't know what's got into me to look at all the stuffs that i have kept all these years...my journals, the letters, the gifts, the candy or choco bar wrappers, the beer or vodka caps, the pictures, the video tapes, all the stuffs that reminds me of yesteryears...

i can't hardly believe how grown up i am now...turning 19 years of age soon...who would have thought, in the eyes of many that a not-so-friendly, harmful, over-confident, varsity player, tomboy turned out to be someone you thought she's not?!?!?

this may sound cocky, but to those who have known me, to those whom i trust, to those who can exactly define who the real me is...are so damn LUCKY!! whoever they are, i know they can tell... *brags*

looking back makes you realize how blessed you are...and damn, that's what i fell now!!...you can never appreciate a thing if you're just going to focus on the lil, simple or single detail about it...you have to look further, you have to feel more, you have to hold on and take care of it...this just ain't about material things...it's about humans, aswell...

hmm, lets put it this way...you met this someone and became a part of your life because of what he/she can give you...what if this someone have nothing left to give???...will you still try to hold on to him/her and let him/her a part of your life still???...i don't think so...coz you're too focused on what you can get from this someone!!...you should think of what this someone could have done if you haven't been focusing on the things that he/she could give you...you might never know that this someone can give you more than what he/she could have given to you if you weren't too focused on the 'lil detail" about that someone...

*sigh*

people are people...we think, we act, we fell the same way...we all have a heart and a mind that only humans can feel and think...sure, you don't want to be treated like a toy, a rag, or worst, an animal...we are all the same...the way you treat that someone might treat you the way you're treating him/her............SO BE HUMAN ENOUGH TO TREAT A HUMAN!!!

"be human enough" - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 2:01 AM

Sunday, November 21, 2004

am NAUGHTY but NICE

Are you NASTY or NICE?
Quiz made by Angela

"You do the nice thing MOST of the time - even though sometimes you'd like to be a bit more selfish. Your friends know they can rely on you but you can be a little fickle so they don't always confide in you as much as they might want to."

that what it sez!! hmm, surveys are really good in telling who you really are...i agree to what the survey sez..am really nice, i can tell but i admit that am sometimes selfish!! *kekekekek*

thanks to Angela for the test and to Ate jo too, saw this in her blog and took the cahnce!! hehehe

xoxo PEACE xoxo

Lee rocks!! @ 10:52 PM

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Evasion

"di naman kasi enough na ALAM lang natin ang masama, dapat alam din natin UMIWAS" (it ain't enough to KNOW what is bad..we should also know how to EVADE.) - Ate Jo; 1:01 am

yup!! she's right!! but then again, i knew it since then...i was just too stubborn!!...

nostalgic lee: was?!?!?!..i dont think so, you're still is!!
sensible lee: oh well, ill prove you wrong this time...

being in shit these past 3 months gave me a lot of lessons learned and to learn...

i have learned that you connot make someone love you, all you have to do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.
i have learned that no matter how you care, some people just dont care back.
i have learned that you can get on by charm for about 15 minutes, after that you'd better know something.
i have learned that it's not what happens to people that's important, it's what they do about it.
i have learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
i have learned that we are responsible for what we do no matter how we feel.
i have learned that learning to forgive takes time, a long time.
i have learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
i have learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
i have learned that best friends can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
i have learned that sometimes when you're angry, you have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give you the right to be cruel.
i have learned that isn't always enough to be forgiven by otheres, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
i have learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world won't stop for your grief.
i have learned that you souldn't be too eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever!
i have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see same thing totally different.
i have learned that even you think that you have no more to give, when a friend cries out for help, you'll find the strenght to help.

all i have to do is absorb all the things i learned constantly. it's been too long since i let my feelings control me...well, now, i decided to control my feelings instead...it ain't to late to right all the wrong ones i did...

nostalgic lee: wrong?! you did it all out of love, so what's so wrong about it?!
sensible lee: honding on for the wrong reasons, loving the wrong guy in a wrong way...

i couldn't debunk everything about him but i could make him see that he's so wrong all these times by standing for what i choose to be..

"i trusted him, so sad, what love can make us do..all the things that we accept, be the things that we regret."

*sniff*

Stand for what you believe! - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 10:02 PM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Cindy Joy

the lil monster and the big monster! =)
Originally uploaded by maclee25.

am missing my lil monster!!! period!

*sniff*

Lee rocks!! @ 4:59 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Happy!!

went out with my "alter-ego" - ate joey last 13th...i had a blast...it was like am hanging out with my big sis! - she is my "big sis"!! hehehe.. i cant exactly tell how happy i was with her, i may have cried while Amie Lee was in our background singing her "My Immortal", but i still feel the happiness with in, coz of being with her and giving me some words of wisdom..hehehe..i know there's still loads to come for us!! *wink wink*

id be albe to hang out with my Budz again for almost after one month!! *far out* - plus!! with my closest friend Charlene!! yey!! am really really happy!! i never knew id be able to laugh again like how i used to!! *hmmm...is the old lee back?! - hehehe almost there!! just wait! =p*

AM HAPPY. period!

thanks to Ate Jo, Che and Cha!! *blows out thousands of kisses!! hugsss*

Stand for what you believe! - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 5:23 AM

Friday, November 12, 2004

Jeremiad

when will i stop complaining lamently with this "bullsh*t"??? *argh*

sure i wanna stop, sure i want this to end! - duh!!! boy, this is killing me!! -- trying my best to wake up every morning with a beautiful perspective!! and yes, i sometimes wake up like that!!...but it's not all the same...i mean...i like it constant!! *far out* things happening now are fickle! argh!!

what's playing: Superman [Five for Fighting]
the lines: it may sound absurd, but don't be naive, even heroes have the right to bleed, i may be disturbed, but won't you concede, even heroes have the right to dream, and it's not easy to be me. i'm only a man in a funny red sheet, i'm only a man looking for a dream, i'm only a man in a funny red sheet, and it's not easy…It's not easy to be me...

yup!!..it aint easy to be me!! am just a lil "Unwell" [matchbox20] too...*laughs*

oh well...haveta deal with this bull-crap again!! i'll get over this sh*t!!

*sigh*

oh no!! this yahoo thing keeps on playing mah fave songs! *sob*

now playing: Fallin' [Alicia Keys]

now, don't ask why!! *.*

Stand for what you beleive - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 5:22 AM

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Who Needs a Boyfriend???

a boyfriend??
Originally uploaded by maclee25.

ha!! who needs a boyfriend?! me?!...ahmm...don't think so..hahaha..

seen this one at my Budz's and Ate Jo's blog and so i decided to take a test too. and damn! "who needs a boyfriend?"

*lol*

hmmm...as of now, i suppose..i dont need someone who'll break my heart coz it's still broken...hahahahaha...[coz of my haste??] let's take things slow, slow, slow..."don't rush" - came from "the guy".. hahahahaha..

xoxo PEACE xoxo

Lee rocks!! @ 4:37 AM

Monday, November 08, 2004

Mood - Killing

so nice to wake up with a kiss!! hahaha...my cousin Cindy Joy wake me up with loads of kiss in my cheek!..hahaha, she didn't stop till i said "stop it, stop it!"... =p so i took my breakfast and then played with my cousin CJ, talked about montsers and Peter Pan [our imaginary friends] hahaha...CJ made me smile alla time!!...

mah folks threw out a party!!...i invited Ate Jo [she cant come coz she's busy]...i also invited mah Budz and her family [they can't coz of "somethings"]...so i was the only one in the clan who doesn't have someone in the party....

my tito, mom's cousin, came with his bestfriend from the popular group the "Boyfriends"..Mr. Gary Ariola...[thanks for the very nice "concert" and "serenade" you did for us!] the party was a blast!! i really enjoyed every bit of it...it's like a comedy bar full of entertainment...laughed and sang all the way till dawn!! hahahahaha

Mr. Gary came with some of his friends too...there was this guy, bet he's in his 20s, looking good, tall, white [and man! no glasses! *whoa?*]....i was introduced to him by my cousin at my mom's side...he just said "hi"...that's all...and all the time in the party he was like looking at me in a sly.... *hmmm* well, he is good looking, he's cute!..he became red coz of alcohol! hahaha...well, still am feeling good in the party! hahaha, feeling pretty too!...i wore my fave pink top together with my mini skirt! *whoa* hahahaha....

still in good mood and feeling pretty...not till i got a message from the "GUY"..... *sigh* well i guess for now that's how it is...if he keeps on coming back...it's like im leaving again in "hell"... *argh*...whatever!!!

sensible lee: am happy, period!!!!!

Stand for what you believe! - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 4:38 AM

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Gravity

been very pressured lately...got lotsa errands...relatives commin' over...lil-get-together are held...trips are planned...sheeesh, am sooo indemand!! hahahaha...

gone to Pampangga and met loads of relatives of a relative...met this guy...he's nice and a gentleman...and oh, attractive as well - enough to make me enjoy my stay.. lolz!!

Greenhills - twas where i saw my highschool hearthrob crush...and actually made my tiring and shitty day alright - out of the blue, he smiled at me....i smiled back ofcourse... *blush*

sensible lee: holly molly!!...he smiled to me??????.....goshie, i feel good!!

when we were heading home, i got a message from my moblie...and man!!! it came from my former co-worker-crush...he never ever sent me messages before...and now???...i got one!!!...hmmm... *wide smile*

sensible lee: what's with today?!?...full of 5-mins. happiness..hehehehe

i have read my Budz's blog and damn!! she's been missin' me...i know she would and i miss her either...since my "imported tita" came...i've been very busy and pressured...considering that i am emotionally disturbed...i wasn't able to talk to her or even text her...

geeesh...i don't know...guess im too fucked up with some insignificant stuff, and yet...still dealing with them first...than this...argh!! *.*

nostalgic lee: hey, why look at me???
sensible lee: could you just please be selfless for atleast one week???!!! >.<
nostalgic lee: well, im trying... *.*

*sigh*

i just hope things will be back to normal with out making such stupid decisions...

Stand for what you believe! - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 1:31 AM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

...Never...Really...

what's playing: Never Again [Justin Timberlake]

started with a very nice flow of conversation through sms with my Ate Joey...cant help talk about the feeling this "asshole" left to me...

'corz, i let my heart cried out again...she was very attentive...after my rantings...she told me things that were...and still are, true...i wasn't able to cry that hard since the last time i did when he "dumped" me...

sensible lee: it's alright to cry..let it out..figure out what you really want.
nostalgic lee: i only want this feeling to end, but it seems it's not gonna end at all... *.*

...as what she have told me, i wasn't born to be like this...to be in shit, and i should stand for what i choose wether he comes back or not...and again...she made me cry, just like that!!...

sensible lee: why not?...it's so so true, and yet...you never give a damn about it though you already knew about it since then!!...tsk...
nostalgic lee: lee's been very considerate to me lately and that's what makes me stay like this..

...sure i know i have to be more considerate to my sensible side, but how??!! tsk....oh well, after this crying, i know i'll be better anyway..

i never really had him...he never really cared...he never really...NEVER!!........but he really had me...he really got the best of me....

*sob*

Stand for what you believe! - Lee Falcon

Lee rocks!! @ 11:36 PM

my prerogative

people can take everything away from you, but they can never take away your truth. but the question is.. Can you handle mine?

Name: Lee

as a real girl, i has withstood the test of time and i am constantly evolving with the changes around me..having practically grown up infront of the judgemental and fickle world, i know how i can make my success happend for myself..i may have committed a lot of mistakes along the way, but i am continually learning from them..you may love me or hate me, nobody can ignore the fact that i am here to stay!! Welcome to MY world!!

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